The Dressing Room Nightmare

Like most women, I have had my share of devestation in dressing rooms. I vividly recall a time, near the end of university, when I tried on a pair of size 15 pants at my favourite store (Suzi Sheer) and they did not fit. I couldn't believe it. Fifteen was the biggest size in the store and they did not fit. This is one of the first memories I have of really feeling insecure about my weight. I no longer could shop for the "cute" clothes in all the popular stores that my friends shopped in. It was very frustrating and depressing. I began to feel that I wasn't as adequate as other girls my age.

After this, I resorted to stores like Old Navy and Walmart that sold plus sizes. I remember the pair of jean capris I wore at my university graduation from Carleton were a size 16 from Old Navy. I even remember venturing into Additionelle and other plus-sized stores occasionally. I remember hating the clothes in there, thinking they were "old lady" and way over-priced. Insecurity continued to set in...

Since then, I have had many devestating moments in change rooms. About a year or two ago, I remember shopping for jeans with my current boyfriend, Brad. I must have tried 10-15 pairs and could not find any that fit right. I was convinced that it was due to my weight problem (I had creeped back up to 173 lbs. after losing some between Carleton and meeting Brad). I remember bawling in the car on the way home and feeling very depressed. I was tired of all the frustration of shopping to fit my size and not being able to wear the things I liked. I was sick of "settling" for clothes just because they fit, while girls in fitting rooms next to me had a choice between items because they looked great in everything!

Luckily, now that I have reached (and surpassed) my goal weight, shopping has become a totally new experience! As most people who have lost weight know, shopping for smaller sizes is one of the most exhilirating experiences there is! I recall a time when a size 11 excited me! (Size 13 was the size I hovered around for most of my adult life so far). Then I remember, fitting into a 9 and being able to wear my Mom's old shorts and capris for my trip to Hawaii. A few months ago, I ordered a bridesmaid dress in a size 8 and couldn't believe it. And now, I'm into a size 5/6!!! Honestly, to think of myself as a size 6 is still surreal to me. Even in high school, I think I was about a size 11. Shopping for clothes has become so much fun! It's an amazing feeling to put something on in a dressing room, look into the mirror, and actually LIKE what I see! I am FINALLY one of those girls who has the CHOICE of what she can buy. I don't just have to buy it because it's the only thing that fits :-)