Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Beginning: The Freshman 40

I don't remember ever being concerned with my weight in high school. As a teenage girl, I am sure I had insecurities, but if I did, I have no memories of it. My weight gain really started when I went off to university in the fall of 1999. I was 18-years-old and on my own for the very first time! But it wasn't about eating foods that I hadn't been able to eat before. For me, eating became a huge social activity. I remember so many nights heading down to The Oasis which was a fast-food restaurant that was open all night in the basement of our residence. We'd head down, late at night, to eat pizza, chicken fingers, and poutine. The cafeteria, where we ate the majority of our meals throughout the week, was no better. Yes, with all due respect, there was a salad bar. But when you're a junk food addict and have no concept of healthy choices, the fries, chicken burgers, ice cream, and chocolate milk win out every time! And let's not forget all the parties. I don't recall a trip to the bar (and there were plenty of them!) without going out to eat afterwards!

My bad eating habits continued when I moved out of residence in moved into an apartment for my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years of university. A little too convenient was the store in our apartment complex, where I would often drop by for Crunchie chocolate bars, or my ultimate weakness: chips. Also a little too convenient was the McDonald's and Tim Hortons that was right at the bus stop where our two buses home from school and work connected. If we had 20 minutes until the next bus came, it was the perfect excuse to run in for a large cappucino or a McDonald's McChicken meal! At home, I didn't know how to cook healthy. I recall eating a lot of chicken nuggets, toast with peanut butter and jam, and of course, nachos. then there was my part-time gig at the St. Laurent Mall. The Bay, where I worked, was again "conveniently" close to the food court, where I'd dash out for lunch. The ironic part to me now was convincing myself that I was "eating healthy" by ordering a roasted chicken sub (with cheese and full-fat mayo!), a chocolate milk, and 2 Subway cookies. Oh, the things I have learned since then!


Despite all this incredibly bad eating, I rarely, if ever, exercised. I remember the occasional rollerblade along the canal, and the even more occasional adventure to the gym (where I felt incredibly insecure amongst all the heavyweights, and where I thought 15-minutes on the elliptical was a workout!) But overall, I was completely inactive. Exercise was not a priority in my life. I did not obsess about my weight. Although I don't remember clearly how I felt about myself back then, I must have been insecure. I do remember one time at the gym, when I courageously stepped on the scale. It read 193 lbs. Most people would have been devestated. I supposed I was surprised, and definitley discouraged, but for me it was reality. I told myself I would try to do something about it, but looking back I really had no idea how to do anything about it. Therefore, I forgot about it and don't recall it being as a big of an issue as it has become in my life now. I remember noticing my thin, pretty friends and wishing I could share clothes with them. But overall, I was too busy socializing, having the time of my life, and making lifelong friends to care.

That my friends, is how I gained 40 lbs in four years. I went from approximately 150 lbs. at high school graduation, to 193 lbs by university graduation. My weight loss story had begun.

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